Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
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Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
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Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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