addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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