He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
