But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
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and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
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It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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