you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Never joke about your clitoris.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize