Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize