Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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