You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you win again, gameday.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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