Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
