You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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