I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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