Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
