stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
please don't ironically join a cult
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