If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
