This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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