Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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