Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
im holly from the hills drunk
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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