seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Just cropdusted the office
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize