I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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