Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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