i was born a porn star she said
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
