Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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