Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
