my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
