i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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