Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
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Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
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My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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