Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
