You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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