It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
