He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
