Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
