let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
