I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
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while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
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I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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