its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
