i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i dont even know how to be here
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
