If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
