Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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