So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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