Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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