Just fell off a train. Bad.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
