omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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