He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
