He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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