it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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