im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
