it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
