Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
