You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
