just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Randomize
