Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Randomize
