do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
