u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
