i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
