the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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