The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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