Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
even my farts smell like vagina
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
