You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
