I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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