i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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