i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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