i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
