he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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