is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
