Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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