I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The struggles of a small town man whore
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
